nonjwspouse - getting your hubby to go to couples counselling with a therapist who studied abusive religions is a great idea - how will you get him to agree?
Frazzled UBM
JoinedPosts by Frazzled UBM
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23
Thinking of visiting a Kingdom Hall after 20 years in disguise
by not bitter ini have been to my old kh for 2 funerals since i left 20 yrs ago but i don't think they count.
so i am thinking of visiting a different hall on a sunday for the public talk and wt study.
i want to go just to remind myself how simple minded it is and to hopefully help me appreciate how wonderful and free my life now is.
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231
NEWBIES are leaving like crazy! Be very afraid WT
by clarity in# 3 newbie post.
first of all, the newbies have set a record here!.
have you ever seen a 4pg post where 21 new members reply!
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Frazzled UBM
Only just saw this post and very happy to see my name listed. I don't count in the stats of those who have left the Truth cos I never thought I knew it but I am very grateful to be a member of this community - it has helped me to vent and to strategize on how to free my better half from WBTs mid control - thank you all
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tower attacking families to save ones from apostates
by Crazyguy ini spoke with some one that recommends i step lightly for he said the tower may use there attorneys to attack me recommend to my wife to leave me (spiritual endangerment) and use their attorney's to then help her get complete custody of the kids.
has anyone heard of these guys doing this?
i don't doubt this guy former elder and bethelite and all, just wondering if any one here has experienced this or knows of this happening?
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Frazzled UBM
I don't think the elders would use the spirtiual endangerment thing unless your wife went to them and started complaining that you were ramming apostate stuff down her throat - otherwise the general direction to stay married to an Unbeliever would apply, even if you are an Apostate. I thkn the advice to thread carefully is good but don't be too swayed by the alarmists. I remember when I first read this site and realized my wife had characterised me as an opposer I feared the spiritual endangerment thing being used as a pretext for a separation but as time has gone on I have realized this is not that likley - but I can never rule the possibility out entirely - unfortunately. Good luck
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63
CANCELL MY REQUEST FOR MEMBERSHIP I HATE APOSTATES
by Simon inlol, just received this email:.
idiots!
you of weak minds that have chosen to leave the truth!
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Frazzled UBM
I feel like putting on some red flashing light Satan's horns and go do some door knocking for fun at some of my wife's fake friends as confirmation of my Satanic status.
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25
JW Wife complications
by manda63 inhi, my wife became a jw about 25 years ago and at the time while it all sounded crazy to me but i could see not wrong and have no problem with people having a religion , it started to become apparent that her choice of religion was almost cult like with all the controls in place.
we no longer have a social life together as she will only be with clan members not wordly people and i have stopped going round to her friends houses for get togethers becouse i am sick to death of being questioned and mocked about my beliefs,hearing other religion being called so harsh,wordly people being talked about as if scum and all the other haughty talk.
i am not allowed any material in the house that might be apostate,satanic?
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Frazzled UBM
Wow - 25 years - well done to have survived that long. I know exactly what you mean when you say "I wish she would wake up" - I am sure that is the wish of every UBM on this site or probably every UBM full stop.
Supposedly the WBTS doesn't break up families, hmmm. They sure make it damn difficult. I understand what you say - the only contact I had with my wife's fake friends at the KH was when they dropped by early on to befriend me for the purposes of later indoctrination before I suggested to my wife that I was fine about them dropping by but if they did I would be cross-examining them on their knowledge of WBTS history and enlightening them on any deficienices in their knowledge.
So no social contact with them and getting her to go to social events with my family and friends is like pulling teeth and that doesn't even take account of how much time she spends away from the family being re-indoctrinated and kept busy with field service.
So your question about why this should be so is a good one but I am afraid the answer is a simple one - we are married to aliens - they occupy another planet and we overlap wtih them in a physical and sometimes emotional sense but rarely or never in a social, intellectual or spiritual sense. It is very sad because we love these psychological captives who are emotionally retarded.
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How IGNORANT can you be and still be a Jehovah's Witness in GOOD standing?
by Terry inas i have said many times, i did not really study jw teachings in depth until i went to prison.. i had a period from 1959 to 1967 when i---sort of----could explain things to a shallow depth.
once i entered that profound place in my head (while in federal prison) when everything got serious.....i entered a secret room, so to speak, where.
all the mysteries were hidden!.
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Frazzled UBM
I summarized the WBTS 's history inlcudign the Millerite origins (1843 Second Coming prediction) and Nelson Barbour (1873 prediction and then 1874 Invisible return) and Russell's predition of the visible return and Armageddon in1914 and Rutehrford's subsequent revision to make 1914 the time fo Christ's invisible return. No response except hostility - my retort 'I am just trying to give you information that about your organization, what is wrong with that? Why are you so determined to remain ignorant (my 7 year old son overhearing this says 'What does 'ignorant' mean? Me: It is when you don't know anything.' Very frosty look from the missus)?
So I have to agree that born-ins are ignorant and are determined to stay that way to avoid upsetting the apple cart.
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Attention Lurkers- Consider the effectiveness of your lifesaving work
by stuckinamovement inhypothetical scenario.
you are a city manager in a major metropolitan city with a population of 3,000,000.. .
if the governing body was truly convinced themselves of the impending disaster and the fact that the end is imminent would they not focus their efforts in spreading the message through effective means such as telephone, television, internet, social networks etc?
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Frazzled UBM
The Truth is that they have to go dood-to-door because they are selling a tired old product and so they know that if they used a communications strategy or an advertising strategy it would fail - they need to be able to sell it face-to-face to get the householder to accept something they would reject but for the sales spiel.
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Quick Poll - How many are...
by mrhhome inhow many here are (a) ex-jw, (b) non-jw with jw relatives or spouses, (c) inactive jw, or (d) active jw who stay in for your own reasons?.
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Frazzled UBM
Hi neverajw - I only just saw your comment. I live in London but happy to vent over the internet. I will send you a MP if I can work outhow to do that. Frazzled
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20
How to influence those under psychological coercion
by paranoia agent inhi, i am completing a degree in psychology, while doing so a subject on social psychology has some interesting subjects on persuasion and change techniques.
so while not all circumstances are different doing so in this manner is the most efficient way:.
1. do not allow the argument to become heated, studies have showed that people tend to use less of the left side of the brain (left side is where all rational and logical cognitions take place, right hemisphere of the brain is all emotion).. 2. don't be a hypocrite, if they get angry and upset they subconsciently expect you to do the same to prove themselves that what they are doing is correct, speak calmly with a monotone voice and try to calm the other person down.. 3. build rapport, rapport can only come from genuine empathy so do not pretend or they will see right through you.
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Frazzled UBM
paranoia agent - I have read Hassan's books and agree that while they are of some use they also have limitations. I thnk the main purpose of the book is as a promotional tool for his practice and I wonder exactly how successful he has really been in getting Witnesses to see TTATT. I accept what you say about there being better credentialed psychologists regarding counter cult mind control and am grateful for your pointing us in the direction of some of those people. I am suspicious of your claim that psychology is a science like the natural sciences. I question wheterh it has the empirical robustness of the natural sciences and I think it is more like the social sciences - providing insights but not scientific truth. The rapidity with shich theories change and the different schools of thought are an indication of this. So it can help our understanding but it does not have all the answers. But I am open to all sources of information to help me to understadn and deal with my wife as a psychological captive of the WBTS.
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I can't take this crap anymore. It's time to get pro-active!
by BONEZZ inive been around this board for quite awhile.
it has helped immensely.
lately i just read everyone elses experiences and try and forget the whole nightmare...but i cant.
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Frazzled UBM
Bonezz _ I sympathize - having your only daughter treat you like that is dreadful - it is every parent's nightmare. Taking into account that it has been going on for 9 years and there seems little prospect of her breaking free, I can see why you are minded to do this. You obviously realize that she will most probably (99% probablitity maybe) see this as an outrage and typical of a Satan-inspired Apostate and grist for the mill at her KH and with her mother but there is an outside chance that it may have an impact on her (who says the WBTS and the Witnesses should have a monopoly on emotional blackmail) and if you don't identify her or your mother by name you reduce the public humiliation aspect. But most importantly is the beneift from exposing the WBTS lie that they do not break up families. Hopefull it will get lots of views on YouTube. Good luck Frazz